I have been really working on my lifestyle change and my weight loss.

I am now officially in 40 jeans for the first time in years.  Another 40 or so to go and I will be at goal.

Nine years ago on July 5th, my father died. While the pain has gotten easier to deal with and the memories have started to fade, its the holiday that is closest to the anniversary to his death that really depresses me.

The first few years, it was any holiday, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving… you can go through the list, any day where families get together the wound in me was gaping and raw. I dealt with it by trying my best but for the most part I was a raving bastard on those days.

Nine years latter, most holidays aren’t the mine field they used to be. But its this one that still is raw and still reminds me that he isn’t with me anymore.

My Father wasn’t the best in the world, nor was he the worst, but I loved him as any boy loves his dad does. So now I enter a day that is supposed to be filled with joy and happiness, with a cloud over my head, and trying to put a smile on my face for my son, who will have to deal with the same thing when I am gone.

For those of you out there who still have your fathers and mothers, cherish them, they may not be the best, but they are yours, and I guarantee that you will miss them after they have left this place. While I believe in a life after death, and believe that part of him still lives at this moment, there is still pain, because there is a physical separation between us which will remain unbroken until my time comes.

And amazingly it does get easier. Except for that pinpoint in time when you come face to face with it every year, and even then, over the years, it gets better.

I had my three days of darkness.  The power was off due to a storm.  Killed my Low Carb diet, because meat is usually kept in the freezer and we don’t open it during outages.

So I ate what I could.  What does this mean.

Three days of very low carb, the atkins flu and I will be back on program.

:::sigh:::

Well, this next couple of weeks will be the following throw-down.  I have decided that I want to learn how to make Croissants.  I understand that these can be difficult, we shall see.

The first salvo in the battle of the Croissants will be fired this weekend.  Wish me luck

But after having this thing since the day it launched, I can tell you my laptop spends most of its time with the kids.  They still pester me to use the iPad and get miffed when I tell them to use the laptop.

For 90% of the stuff that I need to do on my laptop, the iPad fulfills it.  The other 10% is this:

1)  VPN into my Cisco router

2)  Control a Mac via Apple Remote Desktop, and/or Server via Microsoft Remote Desktop Connection.

So for Productivity I am using:  iWork

Wordprocessing:  Pages

Spreadsheet:  Numbers (99% of the spreadsheets I need to be able to run)

Presentations:  Keynote

I have to say that I am enjoying this, the size is right for me and fits in my briefcase.

Hail Mary,

Full of Grace,

The Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou among women,

and blessed is the fruit

of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary,

Mother of God,

pray for us sinners now,

and at the hour of death.

.

.

.

In the East we have:

O spotless, undefiled, incorrupt, immaculate, pure Virgin, Lady Bride of God, who by thy wondrous conceiving hast united God the Word to man, and joined the outcast nature of our race to heavenly things, O only hope of the hopeless, and succour of the embattled, the ready help of them that have recourse to thee, and refuge of all Christians: abhor me not, the sinner, the accursed one, who have altogether made myself unprofitable by shameful thoughts, words, and deeds, and with the heartsease of life’s pleasures am become a thrall in mind. But as the Mother of the man-befriending God, do thou, in man-befriending wise, take pity upon me a sinner and prodigal, and receive my supplication, offered thee on unclean lips. And using thy boldness as a mother, entreat thy Son, our Master and Lord, that He may open even unto me the loving compassions of His goodness, and that, overlooking mine innumerable trespasses, He would turn me to repentance, and make me the approved doer of His commandments. And be thou ever with me, as thou art merciful, and compassionate, and the lover of good, being in this life a fervent protectress and help, to defend me from the assaults of adversaries, and guide me unto salvation; and in the hour of my departure, to care for my wretched soul, and drive far from it the dark countenances of evil demons; and in the terrible day of judgment, to deliver me from eternal torment, and show me forth as an heir of the unspeakable glory of thy Son and our God. This be my lot, O my Lady, most holy Theotokos, by thy mediation and help, through the grace and love for man of thine Only-begotten Son, our Lord and God and Savior Jesus Christ, to Whom is due all glory, honour, and worship, with His Father which is without beginning, and His All-holy and good and life creating Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Yes, I know the west has longer prayers to the Blessed Virgin.  The East seems to not hide theirs.  Also during the Liturgy we have more references to the Blessed Theotokos, we happen to invoke the trinity and cross ourselves about a billion times.  But if it is worth doing, it is worth over doing.

Here is some info about the Eastern View of Pentecost.

In the Eastern Church, Pentecost is one of the Great Feasts and is considered to be the highest ranking Great Feast of the Lord, second in rank only to Pascha (Easter). The service is celebrated with an All-night Vigil on the eve of the feast day, and the Divine Liturgy on the day of the feast itself. Orthodox temples are often decorated with greenery and flowers on this feast day, and the celebration is intentionally similar to the Jewish holiday of Shavuot, which celebrates the giving of the Mosaic Law.The feast itself lasts three days.

The first day is known as “Trinity Sunday”; the second day is known as “Spirit Monday” (or “Monday of the Holy Spirit”); and the third day, Tuesday, is called the “Third Day of the Trinity.”.”[15] The Afterfeast of Pentecost lasts for one week, during which fasting is not permitted, even on Wednesday and Friday. The liturgical color used at Pentecost is green, and the clergy and faithful carry flowers and green branches in their hands during the services.

An extraordinary service called the Kneeling Prayer, is served on the night of Pentecost. This is a Vespers service to which are added three sets of long poetical prayers, the composition of Saint Basil the Great, during which everyone makes a full prostration, touching their foreheads to the floor (prostrations in church having been forbidden from the day of Pascha (Easter) up to this point).

All of the remaining days of the ecclesiastical year, up until the preparation for the next Great Lent are named for the day after Pentecost on which they occur (for example, the 13th Tuesday After Pentecost).

The Second Monday after Pentecost is the beginning of the Apostles’ Fast (which continues until the Feast of Saints Peter and Paul on June 29).

Theologically, Orthodox do not consider Pentecost to be the “birthday” of the Church; they see the Church as having existed before the creation of the world.  The Orthodox icon of the feast depicts the Twelve Apostles seated in a semicircle (sometimes the Theotokos (Virgin Mary) is shown sitting in the center of them).

At the top of the icon, the Holy Spirit, in the form of tongues of fire, is descending upon them. At the bottom is an allegorical figure, called Kosmos, which symbolizes the world. Although Kosmos is crowned with earthly glory he sits in the darkness caused by the ignorance of God. He is holding a towel on which have been placed 12 scrolls, representing the teaching of the Twelve Apostles.

Today is the only day that we kneel during liturgy. During that time we will recite the kneeling prayers. Typically we will say the first one. These prayers are part of the Pentecost vespers that are said on Sunday evening.

1st kneeling prayer

Again and again on bended knee let us pray to the Lord

O Lord, most pure, incorruptible, without beginning, invisible, incompressible, unsearchable, unchangeable, unsurpassable, immeasurable, and forebearing: you alone have immortality; you live in unapproachable light; you made heaven and earth and the sea and all things created in them. You grant to all their requests even before they ask. We pray to you, and we beseech you, O Master who loves all people, the Father of our Lord, God, and Savior, Jesus Christ. For our sake and for the sake of our salvation, he came down from heaven and was incarnate of the Holy Spirit and Mary, the ever-Virgin and the most glorious Godbearer. At first he taught us with words which were then later confirmed through deeds when he endured the saving passion, giving us, your humble, sinful, and unworthy servants, the example of offering supplications to you, with necks bowed and on bended knees, for our sins and for the people’s acts done in ignorance.

Hear us on whatever day we call upon you, for you alone are most merciful and the Lover of us all! However, especially hear us on this present day of Pentecost on which, after our Lord Jesus Christ had ascended into heaven and was seated at your right hand, O God and Father, he sent down the Holy Spirit upon his holy disciples and apostles. The Holy Spirit came upon each of them, and filling all of them with his inexhaustible grace, they spoke of your grandeur in various tongues, and they prophesied.

Now, therefore, hear us who are praying to you, and remember us, lowly and condemned as we are, and return our souls from the captivity of sin, for we have your loving-kindness interceding for us. Accept us who fall down before you, calling out: We have sinned! To you we have been committed from birth. From our mother’s womb, you are our God! But because we have spent our days in vain endeavors, we have been stripped of your help, having been deprived of every defense. But trusting in your generosities, we cry out: Do not remember the sins of our youth and of our ignorance, and cleanse us of our secret sins; and do not reject us when we become elderly, when our strength weakens.

Do not forsake us, and do not return us to the earth before you have made us worthy to return to you, and until you have prepared is, making us acceptable through grace. Appraise our iniquities by your generosities. Against the multitude of our transgressions, place the abyss of your generosities. O Lord, look down from the heights of your holiness upon our people here present who are waiting for abundant mercies from you. Visit us with your goodness. Deliver us from the assaults of the Devil. Organize our life around your holy and sacred commandments. Assign to your people an angel, a faithful guardian. Gather all of us into your kingdom. Grant forgiveness to those who put their trust in you; pardon them and us from sins. Purify us by the operation of your Holy Spirit. Abolish the schemes of the Enemy plotted against us.

Blessed are you, O Lord, Almighty Master, who illuminates the day with the light of the sun and brightens the night with glowing flashes of light, and who has enabled us to pass through the length of the day and to draw near to the beginning of the night. Hear our petitions and those of all your people; and having forgiven all of our voluntary and involuntary sins, accept our evening prayers, and send down the multitude of your mercies and your generosities upon your inheritance. Encompass us with your holy angels. Arm us with the armor of your righteousness. Surround us with your truth. Support us with your power. Deliver us from every assault and from every treacherous plot laid by the Adversary.

And grant to us, through the prayers of the most holy Godbearer and of all the saints who have been well-pleasing to you from the beginning of time, that this present evening and the approaching night and all the days of our lives may be perfect, holy, peaceful, without sin, without temptation, and without idle dreams.

For it is you who shows mercy to us and saves us, O Lord our God, and we render glory to you, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, now and ever and forever.

Amen

2nd kneeling prayer

Again and again on bended knee let us pray to the Lord

O Lord Jesus Christ, our God, you bestowed your peace upon us and you granted us the gift of the Most Holy Spirit. And, while still yet being present with us in this life you continue to bestow upon the faithful this inheritance that can never be taken away. On this day, in a vivid manner, you sent down this grace upon your disciples and apostles, confirming their lips with fiery tongues so that, through them, we and the whole human race have received the knowledge of God through our own ears in our own language. We have been enlightened by the light of the Spirit and have been delivered from error, as though from darkness, by the distribution of visible and fiery tongues. Through this mysterious action, we have thereby been taught faith in you; and having been illuminated, we bless you, together with the Father and the Holy Spirit, as one Divinity and Power and Authority.

You are also the Splendor of the Father, the unchangeable and immutable Image of his essence and his nature, and the Source of wisdom and grace. Open my sinful lips and teach me the manner in which and for what needs I should pray. For you know the great multitude of my sins, but their enormity can be vanquished by your loving-kindness. For behold, I stand before you with fear, and I cast the despair of my soul into the depth of your mercy. Guide my life along your ways, for you govern all creation by a word with the ineffable power of your wisdom; show me the way in which I should walk, O tranquil Haven of those who are turbulently perplexed. Grant the Spirit of your wisdom to my deliberations, giving the Spirit of understanding to my ignorance. With the Spirit of your fear, overshadow my deeds and renew a steadfast spirit deeply within me. And with your Sovereign Spirit, stabilize the in-decisiveness of my thoughts, in order that being guided every day by your gracious Spirit toward those things that are profitable for me, I may be deemed worthy to fulfill your commandments. Let me be constantly aware of your coming in glory when you will judge our deeds. Protect me from the corrupting pleasures of this world; strengthen me with the desire to strive for the treasures of the world to come.

For you have said, O Master, that whatever anyone asks for in your name, it will be received without hindrance from your Father, the coeternal God. Therefore, on this feast of the descent of your Holy Spirit, I, a sinner, also entreat your goodness so that you would grant me whatever I have asked that is for salvation. Indeed, O Lord, you are the bounteous Giver of all benefits; and you are a gracious provider who gives most abundantly those things for which we ask. you are the Compassionate One and the Merciful One who sinlessly became a partaker of our flesh; and unto those who bend their knees to you, who became the purifier of our sins, you extend your infinite loving-kindness.

O Lord, grant then your generosities to your people. Hear us from your holy heaven. Sanctify us by the power of your right hand. Cover us beneath the shelter of your wings, and do not despise the works of your hand. We have transgressed against you alone; against you only have we sinned, but only you do we worship. We do not know how to worship a strange god; neither do we stretch out our hands, O Master, to any other god. Pardon our transgressions and accept our prayers that we offer on bended knees. Extend the hand of your help to all of us. Accept the prayer of all as if it were pleasant incense, acceptable before your most gracious kingdom.

Lord, O Lord, who delivers us from every arrow that flies by day, deliver us from all things that walk in darkness. Accept the lifting up of our hands as an evening sacrifice. Deem us also worthy to pass blamelessly through the course of the night, untempted by evil things; and deliver us from every disturbance and apprehension that comes to us from the Devil. Grant compunction to our souls, and grant that we may meditate upon the trial at your fearsome and righteous judgment. Nail the fear of You to our flesh, and mortify all of our earthy body members so that during the quietness of sleep we may be enlightened with the vision of your judgments. Remove from us also every unseemly dream and detrimental carnal passion. Then raise us up again at the time for prayer, fortified in the faith and advancing in your commandments.

Through the benevolence and the goodness of your only-begotten Son, with whom you are blessed, together with your all-holy, gracious, and life- creating Spirit, now and ever and forever.

Amen

Third kneeling prayer

Again and again on bended knee let us pray to the Lord

O ever-flowing, living, and enlightening Source; O creative Power, co-eternal with the Father, who most marvelously fulfilled the entire plan concerning our salvation; O Christ our God, who shattered the indissoluble bonds of Death and the bolts of Hades: You trampled upon a multitude of the evil spirits, offering yourself for us as a blameless Victim and giving your most pure Body, untouched and unapproachable by any sin, as a sacrfice: And, through this awesome and inscrutable sacred sacrifice, you have given us eternal life.

For by descending into Hades and smashing the eternal gates, and having shown the way to heaven to those who were sitting in darkness, you ensnared the Prince of evil and the snake of the Abyss with divinely-wise enticements. And you bound him with the chains of gloom by your immeasurable power, and you shackled him in Tartarus, the deepest infernal region of Hades, and through your might confined him to the unquenchable fire and the eternal darkness. Thus, O greatly-eminent Wisdom of the Father, you manifested yourself as the great Helper of the misfortunate, and you enlightened those who were sitting in darkness and in the shadow of death.

You, O Lord of everlasting glory and beloved Son of the most high Father; O everlasting Light of the everlasting Light; O Sun of righteousness: hear us who are praying to you and grant repose to the souls of your servants, our ancestors, our brothers and sisters who have already departed; to all of our relatives; and to all true members of the Faith, for whom we now make a remembrance. For the authority of all things is with you; and in your hand, you control all the ends of the earth.

O almighty Master, the God of our ancestors and the Lord of mercy; O Creator of the race of mortals and of the immortals, and of all human nature — that which is still presently structured in the body and that which is, likewise, already released therefrom; O Creator of life and of its termination, of that life of being transferred into another world: you measure out the years for the living, and you appoint the time of death. You lead people down into Hades, binding them in impotency, and afterwards you raise them up, releasing them in power. You order present necessities and expediently secure those needed for the future. To those who have been wounded by the sting of death, you make them glad with the hope of resurrection.

You indeed are the Master of all, O God our Savior, the Hope of all those at the ends of the earth and of those far away at sea. On this last and great salvific day of the feast of Holy Pentecost, you showed us the mystery of the Holy Trinity, consubstantial and coeternal, without division or confusion, and you also showed us the descent and arrival of your holy and life-creating Spirit being poured out in the form of fiery tongues on your holy apostles, appointing them to be the proclaimers of the Good News of our faith,  and showing them to be confessors and preachers of the true, divine teaching. Also, on this salvific feast on which everything was totally accomplished, you deigned, therefore, to accept supplications in behalf of those who are imprisoned in Hades; and to those being held in bondage, you promised great hopes for their release from the grievous bonds constraining them by sending down your consolation. Hear us, your humble servants, beseeching you, and grant repose to the souls of your servants who have already departed into a place of light and a place of refreshment and peace from which all illness, sorrow, and sighing have been taken away. Commit their souls to the places of the just, and make them worthy of peace and of repose. For the dead cannot praise you, O Lord, nor do those in Hades venture to offer confession to you. But we, the living, do bless you, and we do pray and offer you supplications and sacrifices for their souls. O great and eternal God, who is holy and loves all people; who has deigned us worthy at this hour to stand before your unapproachable glory so that we might sing and praise your wonders; cleanse us, your unworthy servants, and grant us grace in order that with contrite hearts, we may without presumption offer to you the thrice-holy hymn of glorification and thanksgiving for your great gifts that you have created for us and always produce for us. Remember, O Lord, our weakness, and do not destroy us for our transgressions; but because of our humility, show us your great mercy, in order that fleeing from the darkness of sinfulness, we may walk in the day of righteousness; and having been clothed with the armor of light, remaining unhindered by any spiteful intrigue of the Evil One, we may with confidence extol you in all things as the only true God who loves all. For yours is indeed the great and veritable mystery, O Master and Author of all — the temporary dissolution of your creatures, and, thereafter, their reintegration and repose for all ages. In all things, we acknowledge your grace; for our entrance into this world and for our leaving it; likewise, for our hopes of resurrection unto an imperishable life, which you pledged by your unfailing promises, that we would receive in the future at your Second- coming. You are the Beginning of our resurrection and the One who loves all people; the impartial Judge of all who have lived, and the Master and Lord of recompense. You incorporated yourself to us in the very same flesh and blood by your extreme condescension for our sake. Because of your compassionate generosity, you accepted our passions and through them, by voluntarily enduring temptation, you became for us who are tempted the Helper that you yourself promised to become. Therefore, through this action, you have given us the example of controlling our passions. Accept, then, O Master, our entreaties and supplications, and grant repose to all the fathers, mothers, children, brothers, and sisters of each of us; to our relatives; to all the people in our country; and to all those souls who have already departed in the hope of resurrection and of eternal life. Inscribe their names in the Book of Life, committing their spirits to the bosom of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the land of the living, in the heavenly kingdom, in the paradise of delights. With your radiant angels, guide all of them into your holy dwelling place. Together with them, also raise up our bodies on the day that you have appointed according to your holy and unfailing vows. Therefore, O Lord, there is no death for your servants when we depart from the body and return to you, our God, passing over from things that are most sorrowful unto things that are most wholesome and delightful, and into repose and joyfulness. If we have in any least way sinned against you, be merciful to us and also to them, because there is no one who is pure from stain before you, even if his life be for but a single day: You alone, O Jesus Christ our Lord, while on earth manifested yourself to be sinless. Through you, we all trust in obtaining mercy and the remission of sins. For this reason, because you are a gracious and loving God, pardon, remit, and forgive both us and them for having fallen into sin, both voluntary and through human frailty; those committed willfully or through ignorance; those that are evident and those that are unnoticed; those committed whether in deed, or through thought, or by word, or whether in any of our conversations and emotions. To all those departed who have preceded us, grant freedom and pardon; and bless us who are still here present, granting to us and to all your people a gracious and joyful end to our lives. Extend to us your mercy and your profound love at your fearsome and dreadful coming in glory, making us worthy of your kingdom. O great and most high God, you alone have immortality; you live in unapproachable light; you created all things in wisdom, dividing the light from the darkness and placing the sun to rule the day and the moon and the stars to rule the night. You have deemed us sinners worthy on this present day to come before your sight in confession and to offer you our evening prayers. O Lord, who loves all people, let our prayer be directed like incense before you and accept it as a fragrant aroma. Grant that we may spend this present evening and the approaching night in peace. Clothe us with the armor of light; deliver us from the fears of the night and from all things that walk in darkness. And grant that the sleep you have given to refresh us from our fatigue might be free from every evil. Indeed, O Master of all and gracious Provider, may we be moved to compunction on our beds and remember your most holy name throughout the night; and being illuminated by the contemplation of your commandments, may we rise up with joyfulness of soul to glorify with praise your goodness, offering prayers and supplications to your loving-kindness for our sins as well as for those of all your people whom you, through the prayers of the most holy Godbearer, visit with mercy. For you are the repose of our souls and bodies, and we render glory to you, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, now and ever and forever.

Amen

Eisenstadt Bishop Paul Iby told the Die Presse daily that it should be up to priests to decide whether they want to live a celibate life and that he would welcome it if married men could be ordained.

“It should be at the discretion of every priest whether to live in voluntary celibacy or in a family,” Die Presse quoted Iby as saying.

Iby, who offered to retire when he turned 75 in January, also said that eventually the ordination of women should be considered.

Read the rest here